Celebrating with an Entry! Happy 2013!!

The thing about writing–a comment, a letter, an article–is that you have to think. Think about what to say and how to say it and who to say it to. And why. You definitely have to think about the why. Sometimes you must think about rules and protocol, and in addition, you wonder if what you say might seem obtuse or be taken the wrong way. Like it or not, writing requires thought. Thinking also involves quietness–a place of calm and serenity where thoughts can dance together and come out in strings of story or pearls of wisdom.

 

Today, and for a while now, writing has been difficult for me. I am not tired of doing it, nor do I think it a small thing to accomplish it, but it eludes me. I don’t understand why it is hard now, but I think I will blame it on having MS. I have blamed many other things on my condition, and it is not beneath me to use that excuse to benefit myself. Like the time I was walking on the beach in the Outer Banks and a beach patrol said he was giving me a ticket because I was parked in the wrong spot on the sand. Having MS certainly came in handy then—especially when I cried and carried on that I might not be able to walk the beach next year. Because I did it all in a Lucy Ricardo sort of way, I saved myself a lot of money that day, and I have the emotional swing of MS to thank for it.

 

Sometimes I can’t write because there is just too much to say. The explanations get wordy and need so many rewrites and edits. My thoughts get jumbled and the sentences get scrambled. I get like that with speaking once in a while too. If a story or situation is too complex, I might not venture the telling. Maybe there will be parts that need expounding or maybe I’ll lose my train of thought. Or perhaps I will be too tired. I can certainly blame that on MS!

 

So now the new year has come. As sure as the ball drops, January brings talk about resolutions. All the conversation—will you? won’t you?—is waning. In the weeks of watching and listening, I’ve noticed that those who DO make resolutions seem to be the go-getters who aren’t daunted by the challenges of changing. They are also the kind of people who don’t care about failing to keep a resolution; it seems to be the trying that matters. Then there are those who DO NOT make resolutions. The most common reason given for that choice is that the resolutions will only be broken. I think that’s a bit defeatist from the start, and that kind of attitude bothers me. I suppose it’s because I find status quo unbearable. Either that, or the non-resolutionists are perfect and don’t need to change. That irks me too. I thought it was intrinsic that everyone has an inner striving to be better. Apparently, I am not right all the time! And to make matters worse, my percentages of being right are falling fast. Can I blame that on MS? I think I can, so I will!

 

By the way, I am a resolution-maker. MS hasn’t changed that, but it has probably helped seal the deal. Is that another thing to blame on MS? Absolutely!

 

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2 thoughts on “Celebrating with an Entry! Happy 2013!!

  1. This is a great post Donna!

    It made me smile because I have just posted on my WordPress blog a poem called “Not Resolutions” ! It is a very lighthearted look at mine. I call them goals or aims rather than resolutions because, for me, those two images are much more gentle and set the bar lower if you know what I mean, because I often put my expectations for myself too high, which only sets me up for failure (in my eyes) . It’s a bit of psychology I use on myself which seems to work!! I still aim to do new things and hopefully grow spiritually and change, but the pressure isn’t too great if some of those things aren’t achieved for whatever reason.

    Your experience on the beach made me smile. I think having MS should allow us some perks, definitely!!

    I hope your new year has got off to a good start. I am looking forward to another grand-baby at the beginning of July so that is certainly something to keep me smiling!

    i am also hoping to buy a mobility scooter so I can regain a little independence; I have lost so much and it is one of the most annoying things for me, about this crappy condition. My aim in this regard is to be able to take my dog for walks again which I am not able to do anymore, and that makes me very sad. It wouldn’t be far and wouldn’t replace the runs he gets with his lovely dog walker (who has also become a good friend), but we would be able to do short trips round the block without having to have anyone else with us!

    Love

    Christine xxxx

  2. I wish I could write like that but my “train of thought” get de-railed fairly quickly and I go way off course, or repeat too often. When I edit, I forget or miss place parts of the monologue and it makes little sense. Is that MS? Well done

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